Exhaustion

I had the idea that going into a doctorate level program was going to be long and hard, but I never would have guessed the extent of the difficulties I would face. It really is one hell of a ride. I guess I never truly expected to be challenged in every way a person could be: academically, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, personally.. (the list goes on). I never knew there were soooo many ways a person’s being could be stretched.. and all at the same time too. I’m learning more about myself than I ever have before in my life and honestly it’s kinda scary.
It’s been a really tough week, to say the least (and it’s not even over yet) but also very pivotal. Because even though I might have hit a breaking point earlier today, having a session with a client go surprisingly really well at the very end of a difficult day… reminds me that it’s all worth it. I dreaded going to session because I felt like I wouldn’t be my best tonight, having to switch off the noisy clutter of all the anxieties and fears I have in my mind. But the moment I sat in that chair with my client sitting directly across from me, I was instantly transported to a different place. And as session continued on, important, magical things happened (yes, it was magical). And it’s moments like that (that really couldn’t have come at a better time), that help me push through and remember why I started pursuing this crazy road in the first place.

I am exhausted. I am drained. But I am also reminded that I am where I want to be.

/wordvomit.

Blogging

I came across my old blog from my days of teenage angst and I was both appalled and amused hahah. Part of me thought, I should just delete ALL of these embarrassing posts! But another part of me didn't have the heart to just delete it all. Reading all those posts reminds me of how far I have come.. how much I have grown. In a weird way I guess I am a little attached to those memories and emotions of my past. No matter how painful it is to read it now (gosh, was I melodramatic!).

Blogging used to be a huge part of my life. I thought I could bring it back. Regardless of how Sylvia Plath-ish my writing was.. I used to be a decent writer of sorts.. haha. Over the past 4 to 5ish years I've tried to start up blogging again several times, without much success.. mostly due to to time constraints. But like many things in my life that used to mean so much to me.. I just miss it. So here's to (another) beginning of a new blog. I'm really going to try to take it back and keep this as a 'words only' blog.. I know how much people love pictures, buuuuut.. just add me on instagram :)

Feel free to drop comments or notes below.. part of what I miss during the blog days of xanga and livejournal was the community of bloggers' interaction. If you have a blog, leave your URL so that I can check it out as well :)

Signing off for now!
Peace, love, and utter bliss,
RONA