But it's 2AM and I can't sleep. My body is aching in seven different places. I've got cramps and an annoying backache.. And... I can hear my neighbor sobbing.
It's 2AM and I am randomly having all these thoughts and feelings right now. I'm paranoid that the site I applied to for practicum next year will just absolutely hate me on paper and reject me, even if I am technically guaranteed a spot there now.
It's 2AM and I'm remembering that I saw her in church again this weekend. Not sure why it didn't really register until now. Seeing her mom is sometimes worse than seeing her.. because her mom actually smiles at me. And it makes me feel fifteen again. One thing I realized this time around is that whenever I see her in church she looks kinda miserable. I hope she's okay.
It's 2AM and I am truly madly deeply missing dance. I am realizing how afraid I am of trying to get back into it. I don't want to lose the one thing I actually felt I was good at.. But the irony is that as the years go by.. My avoidance of it is making me lose it. I can't get over this mental block I'm in. I'm so afraid of not being as good as I was before. I'm so afraid of not being able to keep up. I'm so afraid of disappointing myself. I keep making excuses.. And it makes me really sad.
It's 2AM and I'm thinking of him moving in the fall. I'm worried about going long distance. I don't really know what to expect. I just know I'm always going to miss him.
It's 2AM and I really should be sleeping.
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